My former colleague Tim Lydon once told me “If you assume, you are making an ass in-front of you and me”. At first I did not get what he was talking about. Then he wrote the following me on the white board.
Then I got it. Assume word is composed of 3 sub-words. Ass, U and Me [yes.. yes.. U is not a word, but in you get what I want to say]. I think this is the origin of word Assume.
Everybody in this world wants to assume. Husband assume that wife will feel bad if I say this, Wife assume that husband will feel bad if I do this, employee assume that my manager will get mad at me if I say this or do this.. This list goes on and on and on.
Once I thought that “this world run on hope”. But more and more I think about it, I was wrong about it. Rather “this world run on assumption”. Everything we do is based on the assumption. We like to speculate. Speculation is not much different than assumption. Speculation is based on the assumption.
We do things based on assumption, even we think all the time to assume one or the other thing. Nobody wants to think about the present or don’t remember about the present. Everybody think about the past or the future, too much in the future. Why one want to think about the future? Nobody knows. It is ingrained in us. Since the childhood we were trained to think about the future. We were not let learn by ourselves. Parent think that this is for our good. When child is climbing the sofa, immediately you hear a voice from the back.. “Baby, don’t climb”. Almost nobody tell the why not to climb. Parents assume that if the child climb up the sofa, he will fall. What is the problem? Sofa is not of 100 meter higher up the ground. It is merely 1-2 feet high. Let the kid learn by himself/herself. Once child will fall once or twice, he/she will learn to climb the sofa in the right way or learn that it is not the right time to do so or learn that he/she will get hurt. It is hard for the parents to let go. Psychologically, they were controlled when they were kids. Now it is their time to control their kids. This is just a cycle.
At work, people are always thinking about what if I get laid off, what if I loose my job. Why think about it, when you have not lost your job. Is that a big deal? Don’t you have enough cash reserve to go by for few months? If so, why think about it. Unless you have a strong reason like company has no sales to keep the employees around, why think about it? Just go do your job. If you are not happy with your current job, go find some other gig that will make you happy. At the end of the day, one has to feel good about what he/she did. That’s the basis of happiness. No matter how many millions you make, if you are not happy doing the things you are doing, those millions are not worth it. I constantly get the argument that if I do this, I will get millions. Once I have millions I can do what I really want to do. Off course, that is another assumption that you can make millions doing what you are doing. Another assumption is that another guy did this and made millions. No sir, actually another guy got lucky. Not everybody in this world are lucky (off course this is an assumption too), but look around you. How many people you know made big by doing what they are doing now? May be .000001%.
When you get onto the flight, during the safety demonstration you will hear “when the gas mask is dropped, put it onto yourself before helping others”. Why is that? It is because if you can’t breath, how can you help others breath. Same goes with happiness. If you are not happy, how can you make others happy? We all are constantly trying to make others happy. For example, daughter-in-law wants to make her in-laws happy, employee is putting all his effort to make this manager happy. Again this list goes on and on and on. What is the point of making others happy, if you yourself is not feeling happy about it. At some point, the frustration that you are not happy will come out. That will make all unhappy. At that point, all the effort you put in making others happy will be flushed down the drain.
I cannot talk about the rest of the world, but in India everybody like to talk about others. Gossiping is the integral part of the life. Without gossip, the days doesn’t go by. Especially relatives. They always want to find something bad their known ones. They don’t talk about the good things a person did. But when someone does one bad thing (again definition of bad is relative), everybody are talking about it. The good things the same person did is forgotten. Ok.. somebody did something which you felt was not right. How do you know that was not right? Again they did an assumption. Everything is circumstantial. Without knowing circumstances, one cannot judge whether something is good or bad. Let’s say somebody did bad thing. If it has not affected you even remotely, why are you talking about it?
Whenever I ask my parents/relatives, why shouldn’t I go this or that, answer is constant. Society will not accept it. Hell with the society. Does the society come to your help when something isn’t going right or one need help. Everybody except friends will close their doors on you. Good that we can choose our own friends. They are the ones help you when something goes wrong.
I would like to stop my ranting about assumption by this quote from one forum
Assumption….. is the mother of all…. mess ups
You may disagree with my thoughts.. Everybody has the right to disagree. As long as we agree to disagree, we all are fine.